Savages and Beasts

excerpt

But how when the ones we trust to uphold the holy of the
holies sin the way street people do?
“Before the white man came to this land,” his father continued
his thoughts, “these people were as happy as they could
be in their world, their environment, lifestyle, beliefs, nature; the
day the white man arrived with their beliefs, prisons, arms, with
their censors and jailors, guards and merchants, the free world
ideals, these savages were looked as enemies and their way of
life was an obstacle in the white man’s survival next to them in
their lands, so the free people, the Anglos, started aiming, from
that very first day, at how they could change these savages into
their kind of savages, their kin, and the rest is history. And the
results of this drama, this tragedy better yet, are described in
these diary entries.”
Nothing could be said that could console Anton tonight,
nothing his father could add, nothing that his mother could offer
him, nothing could make him feel better than those two melancholy
eyes he loved but how could he find them now, at this time?
Perhaps Mary was resting now in her room before she would go
to sleep. How he would love to be next to her, in her bed, hugging
her delicate body, listening to her soft words, touching her wavy
hair, kissing her soft lips. Nothing of that was in tonight’s cards.
Anton didn’t even feel going to Molly’s for his usual coffee and
cheesecake.
Dylan was buried in the School cemetery as unceremoniously
as possible and with just a few of the children attending;
the priests made sure to bring the older kids only, so about thirty
boys and thirty girls stood in rows of three, like new soldiers on
their first line of defence. Father Jerome said a few words then
the errorless undertakers did their job under the watchful eye of
the Lord and the soft rustle of the tree leaves …

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In Turbulent Times

‘Who could have told you such a monstrous thing?’
‘My mother.’
‘Caitlin?’ Liam said incredulously. ‘Caitlin told you?’
‘Not exactly,’ Nora replied. ‘The fact is that she doesn’t know if Padraig is my father or not. And there’s no way to find out. We’ll never know. My mother, my father and I have talked this over. We wanted to clear the air so to speak. Just as I want to clear the air with you, Liam. Get this business out in the open, so that there are no secrets between us. So that nothing is hidden from you. You deserve that much from me.’
‘Thank you, Nora, I appreciate that,’ Liam said.
‘What may come as a shock to you, Liam, because I know how much you idolise him is that my mother slept with Father Padraig once and once only. She swears to that. I was born within the biologically requisite number of weeks. But Michael Carrick, the man who raised me and loves me, he too could be my father. He and my mother were sleeping together regularly at the time. And for a long time before that. The tragedy is that my father believes he is sterile. My mother conceived only once in all the years of their courtship, but that was after she slept with Father Padraig. Michael Carrick believes that Padraig is my father. My mother and I have tried to convince him that my epilepsy is the result of brain damage I suffered during my birth. I had serious convulsions when I was born, and my first epileptic fit when I was two and a half. I don’t remember it, of course, but my mother says I was terribly upset at the time over the death of my grandmother, my Nanny Ross as I called her, though I don’t remember her either. That was the start of it. So I’ll never know. But as far as I am concerned my father is Michael Carrick. I love him dearly. As much as I love Joe.’
‘Joe?’
‘Joe Carney.’
‘Oh yes, Joe Carney.’
Nora looked quizzically at Liam. She did not miss the heaviness of voice in the way he repeated the name. Almost with a sigh. Liam felt her gaze on him, like the sun of a July heat wave. He could not help the heaviness in his voice. In his secret life of fantasy and daydream he was married to Nora. She shared his two small rooms, not as a guest as she was that day, but as his wife: his young, beautiful, accomplished wife who took care of his daily needs and answered eagerly his nightly urges. He was Nora’s lover in imagination only. Joe Carney was his known rival in the real world beyond the schoolhouse walls.

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The Incidentals

Diner Cook
Eons behind the counter, the years
he has spent in this diner, side of
the highway where truckers stop
to rest, to eat something fast, to
relieve themselves and to resume
their fast-trucking way towards
their destination to earn their
living just like the diner cook who
stands behind the counter and cooks
hamburgers, a matter of two minutes
each side, which along with a handful
of fried potatoes make up the regular
meal, straight French cuisine, one
might muse, food meant to be digested
as the driver sits in his seat focusing
on the next bend of the road, the faraway
depot where he’ll get paid, he too
has done as others did before him
he too has lived the donkey’s life
just as others did before him

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